He Forgot
by The Smiling Shadow
Summary: One of Dr. Seward's first conversations with Renfield. And the madman grows with excitement as he tells the tale of a a time where he saw a madman on the street when he was sane. This madman did not know his own name, though, neither does Renfield.


Dr. Seward had been staring at him for quite some time now. But so far the mad man he was now staring at had done nothing. This was rather strange for this particular patient. Truthfully it was the reason why Dr. Seward had come to stare at this patient. Always day and night he has outbursts, screaming and whaling. He cries and cries until a guard will come and see what is wrong. Foolish enough to open the doors, the guard is attacked by this patient. Over and over, a maddening laugh comes from him. Weeks go on end with him seemingly never to stop, never rest, never needing rest. They put him in the corner cell, where he can be left alone from the other inmates, with which he never got along with. Alone he is, in his dark corner of this Asylum.

But now, that has all changed.

His name is R.M. Renfield, and he's lying on the floor staring vacantly at the ceiling of his cell. And through the barred doors that separate the sane and the insane is Dr. Seward, director of the Asylum of which Renfield finds himself in.

Renfield slightly moves his arms within his straight waist coat jacket, a rather uncomfortable device. He lies flat on his back on the floor with his legs spread wide. He frowns for a moment, and returns to his vacant staring up at his ceiling.

Dr. Seward has been neglecting this patient for quite some time, for some rather personal matters. The guards would tell him of the troubles this madman caused. How he grew more and more excited during the night, and how he threatens them all with their lives. "Renfield!" They'd say, "Renfield the fly-eater! Renfield always scheming, always ready to attack you, always waiting for you to get close enough!"

But now, he is quiet, and seemingly content on the floor. He hardly seems insane at all, except for the fact he was in a straight jacket.

Dr. Seward finally takes a step forward and kneels down to the floor, and closer to Renfield's level.

"Renfield, what are you looking at?" Dr. Seward finally asks.

Renfield twists within his straight jacket.

"Horrible things." Renfield whispers.

"Excuse me?"

"These straight jackets…"

The madman slowly turns his head over towards Dr. Seward.

"It makes it so difficult to think…." Renfield explains. "Can't think in these things…confines my body…confines my mind…."

Renfield turns his gaze to his arms, trapped within the straight jacket. He looks at the horrible thing, which confines him so. He twists his arms within it just to make sure they're still there. He smiles, knowing that he still has them and then turns to stare up at the ceiling again.

"Well, Renfield. We wouldn't put you in one of those if you would only stop hurting people and yourself." Dr. Seward explains as politely as he can.

Renfield smiles.

"I know." The madman says.

"You do? Really? Then why do you persist in doing it?"

Renfield tilts his head, as if thinking about it, but contains his stare up on the ceiling.

"Because, I need to." Renfield says.

"Why?"

Renfield frowns and turns to his side and away from Dr. Seward and his questions. Dr. Seward, seeing his fault tries to apologize.

"I apologize, Mr. Renfield. I did not mean to offend you." He says.

"He always hurts people. But he has to, or else we'd die." Renfield explains.

"What?"

"Horrible things, straight jackets."

Renfield twists and turns in his straight jacket, as he rolls up into a ball, his back still turned to Dr. Seward.

"Renfield, you need to tell me what is wrong." The doctor says.

Renfield turns to the Doctor briefly, before turning entirely over to him. The madman frowns and curls up into a ball.

"From what everyone has told me…the only thing wrong is me." Renfield frowns, and closes his eyes.

"Well you're ill, yes, but…"

"Mad they called me. They laughed at me you know, out there. And I cursed them for it. Then they asked what I was muttering. When I told them they only laughed some more. Insane they said to me. They laughed and laughed. So I attacked them. I made them stop laughing." Renfield quite plainly.

Renfield's expression doesn't change, his eyes only stare at the floor ahead of him.

"I hurt them. Now people say there's something wrong with me."

"You're ill." Dr. Seward nods.

"Yes…ill…."

Renfield slowly turns back onto his back to stare once again at the ceiling.

"There's a spider up there, Dr. Seward. He's been keeping me company all this time." Renfield says.

Dr. Seward looks up through the bars trying to see this spider.

"The spider…all the spiders…they hurt flies…they have to, but no one ever calls them mad." Renfield smiles up at the ceiling, up at the spider and its beautiful web.

"Spiders, are insects, Renfield, there's a difference." Dr. Seward says.

"Arachnids." Renfield says.

"Excuse me?"

"Spiders, are Arachnids, they have eight legs. Insects have six."

Dr. Seward was thrown back by the correction, and somehow he knew this madman was right. Seward fell back onto the floor so he could sit down, knowing this would be a long night.

Dr. Seward hadn't paid enough attention to this patient that was obvious.

"I'm here to help you, Renfield. You know that don't you?" Dr. Seward tilted his head.

"Help?" Renfield laughed. "You! You can't help me, Dr. Seward."

"Why not?"

Renfield slowly turned over towards Dr. Seward again. He then began to crawl towards him, as best he could with just his legs. He finally just turned around in a circle and scooted himself over towards him. Renfield finally inches from Dr. Seward looked around as if someone was watching them, and he was checking if they were still there. He then leaned closer to Dr. Seward.

"Come closer." He said, and the Doctor did.

Renfield looked around again.

"Only he can help me. The story of my life is not for the weak-hearted, Doctor. Not even I like it when I tell myself what has happened to me. But I must tell myself, lest I forget. Oh, Doctor. I cannot allow myself to burden you with such a story, you're such a good man." Renfield sad.

Renfield smiled a bittersweet smile, and then lowered his head.

"Even if you have a broken heart. Dr. Seward hearts can be mended. But when a mind breaks, it never really, fully heals."

Dr. Seward's mouth has dropped open, and Renfield only smiles like a madman does when he knows he's outsmarted a sane man. Dr. Seward's eyes rise, as he very slowly scoots away.

"How did you…?" The good Doctor begins.

Renfield only falls back to sit casually on the floor, he lowers his head and begins to laugh to himself.

"You and I are actually quite alike when it comes to broken hearts, Doctor." Renfield laughs.

Renfield throws himself back onto the floor, still laughing his chilling laugh. He kicks his legs and pushes himself to the very back of his cells. He arches his back, and twists within his straight jacket, and kicks the ground itself.

"Renfield! Calm down!" Seward yells at him.

Renfield contains himself, still giggling to himself as he curls up into a ball.

"I once met a madman on the streets of London." Renfield whispers, still giggling.

Dr. Seward tilts his head.

"You know, when I was sane." Renfield nods to himself.

He looks up towards the Doctor and begins to crawl back over to him.

"The poor soul, I tried to help him, yes, I really did try. He was crawling on the ground in an alley with the rats…yes, rats…. He didn't really notice me, or just didn't care to notice me. I don't really remember where I was going, or where I had come from. But I remember him, yes, yes, I remember him."

Renfield keeps nodding to himself, telling himself in his broken mind that that was really what happened, and he wasn't making it up.

"I told him he should stop that. I told him I could help him. Take him to an Asylum. Take him where madmen go. He looked up at me and said I didn't count now. Then he went back to crawling."

Renfield tilts his head, and falls back on his side.

"I asked him what he was doing, but he wouldn't answer. So I just stood there for a while, and watched him, wanting him to speak to me."

Renfield then returns to sitting up, and pushes his face on the bars.

"Are you listening, Doctor? This is the important part! Wouldn't want you to miss it!" Renfield nods.

"Yes…yes Renfield, I'm listening."

"Well come closer then!"

Dr. Seward is cautious.

"Do not worry, Doctor. I shall not harm you! I promise!"

Dr. Seward notices Renfield's increasing excitement.

"I haven't told this story in such a long time…now where was I? Oh yes, the important part. You see, Doctor, I asked what his name was. And do you know what he said?"

"What did he say, Renfield?"

"He said…."

"Yes?"

"He said he didn't know….Imagine that! He didn't know, Doctor! He didn't know his name! His own name! His identity! His tie that would relate him to his family! His friends! He didn't know it!" Renfield laughs.

"That's horrible!" Dr. Seward went along with Renfield's excitement.

"I asked him if he could try and remember it! And he said…He said…"

Renfield stops and tilts his head, as if he forgot.

"He said that is what he was doing on the floor. He was trying to remember on the floor. And he informed me that he had been trying to remember for quite some time now. Really tragic, come to think of it. I asked him if there was anywhere he knew he could go to. He said his home was far away, over the sea. I asked if there was anything…I could do for him…." Renfield frowns.

Renfield's excitement was suddenly gone, as if it were sucked right out of him. He slumped down now, and he looked away from Dr. Seward. His smile was replaced with a frown, and his eyes were in confusion.

"He said no one could help him. But you know, I did try to help him. Really Doctor I did. I remember…I remember very clearly what I did. You see I researched, and I found out his name. I couldn't find any family or anything like that. But I knew his name. And when I went to tell him he was gone." Renfield frowns.

Then Renfield looked around again for someone that may have been watching them. Then he leaned closer to Dr. Seward, and right below his breath began to speak.

"Promise me, Doctor, that if you ever come across this man, you will tell him his name for me. And tell him I'm very sorry for him, but I am looking for him. Will you do this for me? This is an Asylum, his destiny may be here some day…." Renfield looked away.

Curiousity took over the good Doctor, as he nodded to Renfield.

"I will, Renfield." He said.

"Promise?" Renfield whispered.

"Promise." The Doctor nodded.

"All right…"

Renfield leaned in closer.

"His name…this poor soul who forgot who he was….His name is Richard Martin Renfield."

R.M. Renfield.

Dr. Seward's mouth dropped open as he slowly backed away from Renfield.

"I feel so terrible for him. He can't even remember his home, his life…how tragic it must be." Renfield continued.

Renfield frowns to himself as he stares at a corner in his cell that he has grown quite fond of. Renfield shifted in his straight jacket as he scooted to the wall where he rested. And as Dr. Seward stared at him, he knew it. Renfield had forgotten a part of himself…and placed it in some memory… Renfield…whose mind is broken.

"Dr. Seward?"

Dr. Seward looks up, and a guard is staring down at him at the floor. Dr. Seward coughs, and rises to his feet, brushing the dust from him.

"There's a phone for you. Something about a Miss Lucy?" The Guard says.

"Lucy?"

The Guard turns to Renfield who looks up at the sane men.

"Hello, there Fly-Eater." The Guard says.

Renfield frowns and turns his back against the sane men, and their unknowing ignorance. He hates it when they call him that, 'Fly-Eater.'

"Did something happen to her?" Dr. Seward asks.

"I don't know." The Guard admits.

Renfield shakes his head.

And then Dr. Seward leaves him, without so much as a good bye.

Renfield is alone again. Alone with his broken mind, and a memory of himself. Somewhere, he knows he was talking about himself. Somewhere in that confused mind, that has been played and toyed with for so long. Someone was inside there. Inside his mind and he couldn't make that person go away. Inside his mind they were poking at things, and making him forget things, messing everything up. He knew this, he knew this, he remembered a time when he wasn't like this. But…he couldn't make it stop, and he didn't really want it to stop anymore.

His mind is far too broken for anyone to fix it. No one can fix it now, not even the person that broke it.

Master…

His mind can only depend on the Master now, and forget that it was the Master that broke it. Things are slipping…memories are leaving him…and he's forgetting that he's forgetting.

He doesn't even remember his name anymore.

No family, no friends. A home that is not his own. A castle in the mountains of Transylvania. The Master and the Mistresses. The life he has been promised, and the lives he needs to sustain it. Yes…Life began with the Master. Yes, yes…Master…Master….Yes, that's right.

Renfield sits in the moonlight now, as he looks on out to the night sky and full moon.

And that's when a wolf howls and a bat flies by his window.

He smiles like the madman he is, and runs to the window.

"Master!" Renfield yells. "I am here, Master! I am here! Master!" He yells.

But Master does not answer.

"Master?"


End file.
